Facebook Love Connections and Why They Fail

So, evidently Facebook changed some stuff up over two years ago, and I just wandered across several messages that have been sitting in there forever, patiently waiting for my attention. Sorry to all my friend who thought I was just ignoring them…I am not too tech-savvy, so changes don’t leap out me very often.

This one message, though, just cracks me up to no end. I think he’s trying to hit on me, but frankly, I am not really sure…

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First, the grammar is lacking. I have said it out-loud a couple of times, and I sound like a gangsta rapper..But second, and far more humorous to me, are the advertisements underneath the guy trying to make a love connection with me…If these aren’t cautionary tales, then nothing is…If these same ads are showing underneath all of this guy’s romantic connections, I’ll bet he isn’t feeling any love these days…

Other Messages: Actions

P******

August 12, 2011

Hey pretty cares for us to talk if you don’t mind? single here and looking for you smile, lets talk and see what is able to happens, hit me back if you dont feel bother, thanks, Phil.

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via Phil Nim – Messages.

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78 Comments

  1. You’ve got a not-so-secret admirer. I bet Chef is super jealous. Smootches

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    • lol..A Gangsta, at that… :-) Can’t wait for him to come home…

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    • I have tried leaving comments on some of your new posts, and WP freaks out, logs me out, tells me I am NOT who I say I am, makes me reset passwords, etc. Finally, I just figured I’ll try to contact you this way, and let you know, I’m still following your articles, but WP hates me. :-) Bird

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      • Nope, WP is just jealous of our love-connection and of our future Thelma and Louise moment, as we’re driving off our small hill in our flamingo covered meat-van, thongs and all. That’s why.

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        • Right?! You’d think they would be grateful that we’re willing to share this with the WP world..not try to muzzle us!! Bastards.

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          • Yeah, this way they would have another good story to tell their WP bloggers. They should feature this on Freshly Pressed, but noooo. Double Bastards.

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            • Well, They’ll regret is when we have our surviving family members post our pictures…

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              • Hahaha. Yes, they sure will. They’ll probably blur out our thongs though…

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                • What? That would be a shame..that’s going to be one of the best parts!

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                  • Well, speak for yourself, WP might actually do the world a favor by bluring out my thong clad ass. Lol

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                    • I know…mine, too. The world just isn’t ready to see my butt cheeks…

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                    • There is always Photoshop. Or we can have butt cheek stand-ins. Either will work, I think.

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                    • Very good idea, Sara! I never thought of that! Yes. Do you think Jennifer Aniston would agree to be my butt-cheek double?

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                    • I was thinking Sofia Vergara for myself. I think Jennifer Aniston would agree if you tell her that you’re tapping Gerard.

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                    • Or she would be extremely jealous and try to take him away from me….

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                    • I thought about that. Didn’t they date or something? But Jennifer has nothing on you. Have a sip of that cool-aid Chef is enjoying, then you will know that Jennifer is a clear step down from you.

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                    • Lol! You’re such a cool chick! I’m glad someone out there thinks old Jennifer is a step down from me..My bucket list is complete!!

                      Yes, I think I’m going to indulge in Chef’s Kool Aid!

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                    • Jennifer is a very clear step down. Period. Maybe we need to reassess your butt stand-in. Maybe the world will have to take us as we are, saggy bottoms an all.

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                    • I’m cool with that. The plan is worth showing my butt to the world. We are who we are, in all of our sagging glory! We make no apologies!

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                    • Amen! So – what’s your time frame on this plan? I can start my twitter campaign right now. All though, if your friend is good at making videos, can’t we just photoshop Gerard and Clive into the frames? I can make a FB account under the name of Gerard Botler and start the romancing.

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                    • mmm…I say we just go ahead and dive in..It is almost too good a plan to wait..Someone else will try to steal it from us …

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                    • Agree. Let’s do it!

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                    • I’m writing a post about this…

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                    • Awesome!! I can not wait!! This is going to be so much fun…

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                    • Wait no more, but it’s more about you making me laugh.

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                    • You’re so sweet. Gonna head on over to you site!

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                    • Ok. Now you’ve made me cry. That is so sweet! I know you are going to make it through all this stuff. You had a harder kind of abuse than I did, but being molested by my stepfather for 5 years was no walk in the park. It took me years to be able to laugh again, and I know that feeling that you have; like you are being judged by everyone around you. It is common in girls that were raped. Here’s the thing, We feel that way because we are our harshest judges. My husband taught me to laugh again, and I would have to say that was what helped me heal. Laughing at myself, laughing at the ridiculousness of life, and how seriously we take some things. And one of those things is how we are perceived by others. Only you know who you truly are — the rest of the world is only guessing..So, only you should be judging yourself…The rest of the world can just get a grip.
                      I’m happy to see that you’ve written me, and to add to our Thelma and Louise plans, or to set up Gerard Butler to fight with Chef over me…They’re goofy, and ridiculous. and they help balance out the darkness. Eventually, when you are laughing more and more each day, those past memories start to slide away a bit, until one day you will be able to laugh at even some of those painful moments. Believe or not, I have made jokes and laughed about some things I would have sworn 10 years ago I would never have found anything more than pain in. You are a laugher, like me. It’ll be what saves you, I’m betting. :-)

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                    • I have added you to my list of things (you are not a thing, but in lack of better terminology) I am grateful for.

                      We will come up with better plans tomorrow, I’m sure. Two crazy ol’ birds can surely come up with a waterproof plan. Yessirree.
                      :D

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                    • It sounds like a plan..We’ll come up with something epic!!

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                    • Epic it will be. The world will never be the same again. Our thongs and Gerard Butler shall be in everyone’s faces. Woohoo… Eh, that didn’t come out quite right, but who cares.

                      Good night, Bird. Sleep tight knowing that after we have executed our EPIC plan, Chef will be transformed into a healthy jealous man who knows that he is married to a woman who makes Jennifer Aniston be a step down.

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                    • From your mouth to God’s ears!!! Talk to you tomorrow, Sara!!! Sleep well and dream in cartoon..

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                    • And I’m grateful for you too. You are an inspiration to me as well.. :-)

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                    • I added you to my list of Things That Keep Me Sane

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                    • :-) Awesome. I just got an award..I’m nominating you, and I expect you to play…I know they are kind of goofy, but they are fun too!! It is the liebster award, so start getting your acceptance speech ready!!

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    • He wasn’t impressed at all. Not a sliver of jealousy whatsoever… Evidently, he didn’t think the Secret Admirer was as Awesome as he is… Oh, to have that kind of self-confidence!!

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      • Whaat? Nothing? We all could use that level of self-confidence…

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        • I used to think he was just pretending to be that self-confident. 20 years later I no longer think he’s pretending. Now, I just wonder how he missed seeing all of his own flaws!!! lol..He’s cool…

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          • He seems like a very cool cat, but try explaining to him that a little jealousy is healthy in a relationship. I have to agree with his proiritizing in this case, as I don’t think your admirer post as a very big threat. LOL

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            • lol..I’ve actually tried explaining this to him, but I am thinking he is never going to truly understand…He’s simply too awesome. But, you are right. FB Gangsta Rapper was no real threat…. What I need is to have Gerard Butler send me a FB Love Connection..then we’ll see how ole Chef feels then!

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              • I’ll start a twitter campaign to have Gerard Butler (he’s hunky) FB love connection you, and then you can blog about it here. Pictures of Chef and Gerard fighting over you an all… lol I’d pay to see that one.

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                • We could charge to view it..Genius! I’ll go half and half with you..All we have to do is get Gerard on board..that can be your job..lol. I’ll get Chef to fight him…Still an almost impossible task…We’ll be millionaires!

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                  • Yes, who needs the lottery when we have this goldmine. Woohoo! Oh, just slip Chef some magic mushrooms and he’ll be good to go. Plus we’ll get some incrimitating pictures of you and Gerard and put it up on your FB page. Then the pictures will go viral and Chef’s manly friends will see them, forcing Chef into defending his manly honor. Good plan?

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                    • Actually, I think this plan is do-able….I like it!!

                      Then again, it would be a shame if some of Chef’s club members decided to protect Chef’s honor by squashing Gerard into a little stain on the cement…I would hate to get the guy killed..I mean, he’s very attractive…And what if my dad saw those pix? No. I think we need a new plan.

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                    • Oh, man! It was such a good plan, but you raise valid concerns – we would hate to have Gerard’s good looks be nothing but a little stain on the cement. But don’t you think Chef would feel too manly to have his friends defend his honor? I would still pay to see Chef and Gerard duke it out. Do you have a better plan?

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                    • I think Chef feels like me falling for Gerard would be a step down, and therefore no threat to his honor. Yes. He is that assured.

                      But I do know an artist that can do anything on a computer. Shall I have him create a YouTube video? Wouldn’t that be awesome? I’ll bet it would be beautiful!!

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                    • Wow! What a great idea. Chef not jealous of Gerard? Really. He does have self-confidenc in buckets. Now I’m jealous of Chef. Hey! That was not the intention of our plan.

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                    • Oh, and we should get Clive Owen to join in as well. That would be so beautiful angels would weep.

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                    • YES!!!

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                    • Instead of giving Chef the mushrooms, let’s just take them ourselves! Why should he have all the fun??

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                    • Right on. Then we won’t care if the entire world sees our saggy bums… lol

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                    • Exactly. Until we sober up. It’ll be like drunk dialing x 1 million

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                    • But we’ll be rich! And can afford plastic butt surgery, and also we won’t care, because we’re rich!

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  2. Reblogged this on 20 LINES A DAY and commented:

    Yes. I still got it. :-)

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  3. Oh I love those Eastern Europeans and their attempts at translating into English. LOL.

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  4. LOOOOLLLLL

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  5. LOL… too funny. I have had the most hilarious messages sent to me on FB. My fav so far though was from a guy in a different country (his English is almost non-exisistant)..He asked if I like KFC, so I replied yes I did.. (it peaked my curiousity) so he replied “Yeah, one day I must get to Kentucky to try it)… ROTFLMBO… I laughed for 2 days over that one…

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    • That is Hilarious!!! I don’t get hit on through FB very often, but one in a while I’ll get the standard “Hi, baby.”.
      What? We don’t each other! Don’t call me baby! I never reply. But this one’s ads were funny to me.. Thanks for sharing. You know, KFC sounds kind of good to me right now… :-)

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      • doesn’t it.. I love the pot pies..LOL…I don’t get hit on as much anymore but I put in my info that I DO NOT CHEAT ON MY HUBBY..lol.. I think they got the point finally

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  6. I used to get A LOT of weird FB messages from strange guys asking if “I could know them” because apparently “my lookings are like of a good wife” and if I feel ept to that I should call them on the number they gave me..errrrr..block and delete!
    Some do really make me laugh though!

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  7. And now I want KFC..but I’ve never seen one in the 7 months I’ve been in Portugal..*off to the supermarket to buy ingredients for southern fried chicken :D*

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  8. Good morning! How’s the plotting coming along?

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    • Hi, you! Sorry I haven’t been around much today. Chef is off from work today and tomorrow, so I don’t get the computer time I usually do…I’m still coming up with a plan and will try to get with it tomorrow… :-) Bird

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  1. The Healing Powers Of Laughter « kyllingsara

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