Yesterday, I really got caught up on a lot of reading…You people have been busy, busy writing, and some of it was just
awesome. One guy went on little rant about how women dress provocatively and then get mad at guys for leering at them, and made the suggestion that women dress modestly if they didn’t want to be lusted after. Another guy, this one a Christian, gave us women a little wisdom about dressing in a Christian manner in order to not cause men to stumble. And then my best little internet friend Sara, who has been struggling with her decision to find a female therapist mentioned that her male therapist wears nipple shirts. My head just about fell off, because I truly hate to see a guy’s nipples through his shirt. No, it definitely does not turn me on; in fact, I avoid the experience of communicating with men that seem to do this sort of thing on purpose. I don’t know if that makes me a nipple-phobe or what, but there it is…
Sara and I have decided that our code word for “gross” is “nipple shirts”. It is a very perfect code for me. I simply can’t stand it.
But instead of writing a fluff piece about nipple shirts…and I downloaded a plethora of examples, “nipple shirting” my way through the whole research assignment, I thought I’d share something about lust.
Thank God, my kids never gave me a problem with trying to dress provocatively when they were in school. I’ve had to get on to Caitlyn once or twice for the Goth look, but never once have I had to tell my girls to cover up. They just seemed to have born with the same modest gene their mother got.
That being said, it is foolish to think that men don’t look at women who are modestly dressed and still lust after them. All the blame does not lay in the women’s corner. And I know this from first hand experience…remember, I hang with men’s men on a regular basis. It isn’t always the “skankily” dressed women that draw the attention of the men. Sometimes, it is just the opposite, and comments will be made about a woman in regular jeans, regular t-shirt, and a fresh, clean face. Men will be men, and I think the clothes are a very, minute part of it.
I also think that God created men as visual creatures, and to a lesser degree, women, too. I have no problems noticing when a man is very attractive. I have the kind of relationship with my husband that I can say, “Whoa. Nice looking man.” and he can say the same about a woman to me. The difference is that I don’t fantasize about being in bed with these men, nor do I go out of my way to be “noticed” by him. In fact, people who know me will attest that I like to fade in the background…Don’t notice me, please. Especially in crowds. Lust comes into play when you are doing dirty things in your mind with that person, and if you are doing that, it is time to get on your knees and start working some stuff out with your Maker. But every little look isn’t a sin. If it was, why even leave your home ever? The world is full of beautiful people, and I can appreciate what God designed. I’ve noticed over the years that it seems to be men who are plagued by lustful thoughts that get worked up about how women dress. Sorry. Sometimes you have to address that problem inside of yourself…being in America, it is always going to be all around you. And Jesus can fix that thing about you without changing your environment…Or maybe He’ll give you an island so you don’t have to deal with it. Whatever He needs to do, He’ll do it, if you ask Him to.
Because of Chef, I’m surrounded by “bad’ boys, wearing motorcycle club patches. Some of them are scruffy looking, but some of them are simply beautiful to behold. The new trend of mc’s these days seems to be drawing professionals into the fold, and there are some clean-cut, handsome men around all the time. Of course, none of them hold a candle to my Chef, but they do try to give him a run for his money. Do I fantasize about any of them? Nope. They are handsome guys…that’s it. And with those handsome guys, come beautiful women. This is not the place to be if you are grappling with the sin of lust. Thankfully, probably in a large part due to my childhood, that isn’t one of the sins that plague me. Which I think is why God has me where I am. He does not lead us into temptation. Should I insist that these men leave the club or dress differently because I might have a problem? No. Look to yourself, guys.
So, getting back to Sara’s nipple shirt problem, here’s a picture of what I now think Sara’s therapist looks like when he’s conducting her counseling:
And a few pictures of nipple grossness for Sara’s enjoyment!!