How An Outlaw Motorcycle Club Taught Me Honor

Chef told me back a few months ago when I started my little blogging adventure that I was bound to offend someone,

Honor is the defining trait I find among the men and women of this club.

and guess what?! Now I have.

For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been honored and humbled by an outpouring of personal emails that people have sent me asking for advice or saying how much a piece I wrote helped them. They always leave me in tears, plus it makes me feel useful in God’s kingdom when I can comfort someone and help them in a difficult time.

And now I’ve been scolded. For what, you may ask? I’m still trying to figure that out. This person doesn’t seem to be one of my followers, and it seems to be a dummy account because you can’t respond to it. Tsk, tsk. But, I’m not even going to use the name you used or publish the email. It really isn’t important to me to embarrass you, and in my opinion, you not even letting me respond via email back to you should embarrass you enough anyways.

Now, I’ve made it pretty clear that you shouldn’t fire off verbal grenades and not have the fortitude to identify yourself. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a different opinion than someone else. But when you hide, you are invalidating said opinion, and I don’t know about other people, but I can’t respect that. So, since I know you read my site, I’ll share something with you and hopefully this will put the matter to rest.

The outlaw motorcycle club seems to be a concern in this person’s thoughts. Let me tell you exactly what I think about my husband being in an outlaw motorcycle club.

Many, many years ago, before Chef was involved with this club, he was actually part of what is called a Mom and Pop club. This is mainly a riding club where motorcycle enthusiasts join up each week and ride together to different locations. It is a lot of fun, and is a good way to get to know each other. And for the most part, this group of people were just wonderful. This is the club we belonged to when I was involved in the motorcycle accident, and they were there for my whole family when we needed help. I have nothing negative to say about them.

After the accident though, mainly because of the accident, at least in my mind, I wanted some distance from the reminders, and that kind of killed the joy for me in the club. And with that death came Chef’s, because if the wife ain’t happy, neither is the husband. There was some disagreement, and the club split in half, and our half took to creating a new club.

Now, without getting in specifics, I will say that the one thing that was lacking in this “new” club was honor. Men were hitting on me behind my husband’s back, and it caused a real stir in my marriage. One thing that you have to understand about motorcycle clubs, or any clubs for that matter, is that trust has to be a central point.

It didn’t take long for that “new” club to completely implode, and poor Chef, who desires the camaraderie he once experienced in the military, was left without that important part of his life. And along came The Motorcycle Club. I’m a big one on first impressions, but I’ve learned over the course of many years that I need to gather more information before deciding yay or nay on something, and so I sat back, running my little bar, and watching these men and their women who came calling on Chef. And after some very kind and open conversations with one — Yes, that’s you Brooks– I decided that I kind of liked the structure of their honor system. I’d been told we women should never ask them questions, and in one fell swoop, Brooks invalidated that theory and let me ask the questions that I’m sure others would be offended by, and then he gently answered every single one of them honestly and openly. I’ve had less experience with honesty with pastors than I did with him. Thank you, Brooks!! Turns out, they have more honor than most Christian churches I’ve been in.

Now, let me be clear. Unless you’ve held in your arms a girl who has had her innocence stolen by an adult just so that he can get some sexual gratification, you don’t get to have an opinion about how we perceive the world. The minute that happens to a little girl…and I imagine it is even worse for a little boy…the world suddenly becomes dark, dangerous, perverted, evil. And with that perception comes an innate distrust for people…You tend to assume that everyone is selfish and that you will be annihilated if you are vulnerable. Compounded with that hurt, is having a pastor that your respect, even if you never really liked, tell you that your rape was your own fault. There is nothing you are going to tell me about only looking to Christians for the answers. I’ve learned a ton from non-Christians.

I’d read books on biker culture, scoped the internet, watched television…I definitely had a preconceived notion about who these people were and what they were about.

Then, I got to see up close and personal just how protective these people were with their young, and anyone else’s children as well. I laugh because for all the jokes about them being dumb, I find this lot of people pretty damn smart. And I watched a convicted child molester try to join. Guess what? He didn’t get very far. They have this uncanny ability to sniff out the people who hurt the innocent, and he was sent packing. I’ve watched serial adulterers join, thinking the women would be easier to lay, and those guys are gone too. I’ve watched liars join, and be escorted away from the family. In fact, I have to say that I know a ton of bikers that are professed Christians on varying levels of their walks with God. So much for judging books by their covers.

I also have watched over the years this code they live by. No lying. If you get caught lying, you’re on your way out. No stealing from a brother…You steal, you’re out. Need some help..they are givers, even if it is just their talents they have to give. My home is nice, neat, and well-maintained because of this family we are in. In turn, I take a lot of wedding pictures and Chef cooks a lot food to help out this family. No cheating with other brother’s wives…You get caught, it isn’t allowed and you won’t be staying in the family. And child molesters….just move out of town now. They don’t condone it and will handle their business. In other words, this motorcycle club taught me the meaning of honor and holding themselves to a higher standard than some Christians I know. So, please. Spare me. Unless you are in it, don’t preach to me about who I should be hanging around with. I am not gifted at leading Christians to the Lord, they are already there…. What do they need me for? I will say that I feel safer surrounded by these men in colors than I do sitting in a pew at church. And for those of you who are childhood sexual abuse survivors, you know just how hard it is to make us feel perfectly safe surrounded by people. Am I right?

I am not going to apologize to you or anyone else for being completely honest about the things that I struggle with, or the people who I have a loyalty to. This club had never done a single thing to me that they should apologize for. Are they perfect? No! But they are humans, and they deal with the same failings that Christians in the church pews deal with. Difference is, from what I can tell, they’re more honest about it to themselves and others.  I find that sharing what sins I struggle with makes me human, and it doesn’t give this image that once you are saved everything is Noodle Salad and Church Picnics. Life is hard, and it remains hard. The difference is that I feel like I have a purpose. I have a healing direction, and I have an empathy to help others head down the same healing path. I usually feel like I’m in big trouble when I die, because I do make a lot of stupid mistakes even though I know better. But, for whatever reason, God always deals really mercifully with me, and in turn, I intend to do that right back to my fellow human beings, Christian, motorcycle bikers, strippers, prostitutes, drug fiends, whatever. I love them all. I’m a firm believer and preacher of grace…Without it, you wouldn’t be getting in either!! I will continue to try to become more like Jesus, but let’s be real….I’m never going to resemble Him much…He was too perfect and very much God Reincarnated…

Hope this sets things straight. You don’t have to agree with me, and maybe I’m wrong. I don’t think so, but what do I really know anyways? And seriously, stop sending dummy stuff…that is just too weak! I have mad respect for the atheists and agnostics that disagree with me on my site (respectfully) than I do someone who shoots off fiery arrows and then hides in the trees….Seriously???? For all of you, my email is cathiemartin68@hotmail.com. I’m standing behind my opinions and beliefs.

Ok, I’ll get off my soapbox for now. :)

–Bird

 

 

Leave a comment

58 Comments

  1. Well said!! I would be willing to say most of them are vets or served in Vietnam.
    I don’t hide either, my name is Ed Christian and my e-mail address is efchristi2@yahoo.com

    Like

    Reply
    • You go, Ed!! Open and honest, that is what we need!! And yes, a ton of them did. I find they get something about out of this club family that is really necessary for their peace of mind!

      Like

      Reply
  2. grace et moi

     /  May 4, 2012

    lol… love it! I personally developed a severe allergic reaction to all things Christian back in the days when I first became a believer in God. But you seem to be of a different breed, Bird, and I am happy to have made your acquaintance!!

    Like

    Reply
  3. They sound like a great group of people! And I agree, that there are people outside the church who tend to be more honest, and more about being rhemselves, than some professed Christians. Its like Jesus and the Scribes and Pharisees. Jesus befriended and loved tax collectors, prostitutes, politicians, thieves, fishermen with some of the roughest language known(Dear old Peter), and the religious leaders if that time were against it. Jesus reminded them that while they were busy being hypocrites, and playing holy, these people needed comfort and love; God’s most important message. Kindof like the time they brought the adulterous woman to be stoned and Jesus said he who is without sin, cast the first stone. A lot of people left there covered in their headdresses to avoid being recognised that day. :-D

    Like

    Reply
    • Absolutely, Kadeen! That has always been my point…maybe it is just too hard for the self-righteous to understand, but to me, it is just so easy to see why God loves these people!!

      Like

      Reply
  4. Clubs can be like that. You need a tool or a hand? You’ve got it. Have to retrieve a friend from the side of the road some where? We’re on our way. They are family by choice.

    I’m glad you and Chef have them.

    Like

    Reply
  5. Just a thought: even the most violent of motorcycle gangs live by covenant: they will die for one another and their leader will die for them. That is what Jesus did for us and he asks us to be willing to do for one another. Bikers sometimes are already practicing that type of covenant, but don’t know it. If they only knew what Jesus really did with his blood Covenant for them!

    Like

    Reply
  6. What an awesome way to handle this. And shame on the nerd who didn’t have the decency to let you respond. Coward, is what they are!
    Thanks for sharing.

    Like

    Reply
    • Thanks, allthingboys! I have to kind of thank the guy/girl ’cause I was blogging about nipple shirts..writer’s block was kicking my butt. Now the flood gates are opened again…Thank you, Whoeveryouare!!

      Like

      Reply
  7. Just do not give them an audience, ignore them, don’t quote ‘em, and as like the bible will tell you …. “Where there is no firewood, there is no fire.”

    DS

    Like

    Reply
    • Good point. Frankly, it didn’t really do much other than mildly annoy me… :) This is an argument I’ve heard way too many times…

      Like

      Reply
  8. Girl if you’re happy and so is Chef then so be it. Screw the critics and live your life. Be happy in your decisions as they are right for you and your family. If they’re outlaws so be it. They have a code of honor and that is much more important than someone being a hypocrite and calling you out. You’re a survivor and so am I. So are many of us. I’m proud of you for speaking up. Stand strong momma.

    Like

    Reply
  9. Hope I’m not leaving too many long comments. Your posts do set me to mucking in the grey matter. :)

    They make me sad because I know where you’re coming from and there’s too much truth to it. The Scripture says, “Let every one that names the name of Christ depart from iniquity.” But we Christians tend to identify iniquity as smoking, drinking, drugs–and miss some real blatant intiquities of our own.

    Others tend to identify sin as covetousness & hypocrocy. (I posted an article on this not long ago: “Things the World Loves” -April 1st)

    Any club will adhere to some rules and bikers will have stricter ones because they KNOW what’s out there and what could infiltrate if they don’t run a tight ship. Churches should, too.

    One angle I’d like to throw in, that non-church peole often miss. Yes, Jesus loves the sinners, the drunks, the druggies, etc. He longs to reach down and save them, both for this world and for Eternity. Like-wise He loves the Pharisees & hypocrites–and did His best to try and get them to see the light, too.

    He loves the complacent, half-asleep Christians sitting in church pews, too. He wants to save them just as much. He wants to shake them out of their smugness and set them on fire. (Read Revelations Ch 3 & 4, His message to the churches.)

    We are all sinners (some saved by faith, some not) and He longs to save us all because He loves sinners and knows what waits on the other side for those who refuse His offer.

    Like

    Reply
  10. “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” You can’t be a member of any better club than that whether your walkin’ or wheelin’.

    Like

    Reply
  11. lbkennett

     /  May 5, 2012

    They didn’t like Jesus either. You’re in good company.

    Like

    Reply
  12. My father in law is with the “Tribe of Judah” ministry, (It’s Thunder Beach in PCB FL right now). There is an “Outlaw” biker settlement right up the road from us. ToJ rides with them and does construction projects for them from time to time. Thanks for sharing, a few crazy biker groups shouldn’t ruin it for all the rest, and def shouldn’t keep us from ministering to them!

    Like

    Reply
    • Exactly how I feel, too, Chief. I was very wary of all this in the beginning…lol..I figured they’d have Chef cooking drugs and dealing to prostitutes…I’m happy to say that while that might have been in their history somewhere, it isn’t the reality I see every day. My hubby works a professional job, and after work, he spends time with people who love him, and he loves them right back. There a ton of them that profess to be Christians, and I’m known to be an unapologetic one…I like that! No need to feel ashamed of my beliefs…they blend in the with majority of the others around me! :-) Thanks for stopping by, Chief. I’ve missed you!

      Like

      Reply
      • I am a pastor, but seeing how unloving churches can be, I wrote an article called Jesus and the Bars

        Why did Jesus go to bars? I mean, effectively, that is what he did. He was known to associate with tax collectors and prostitutes; and he was called a drunkard and a glutton. I don’t think he gained that reputation because he was always going to Wednesday night prayer meetings; rather, he seemed to frequent other spots. He seemed to always be showing up in unlikely places for a “religious” person, like parties and banquets. And it made the “church going” people of his day furious. So why do you think he kept going to bars?
        more at the link: http://scholarscorner.com/?q=Scriptum/allied.htm#Bars

        Like

        Reply
  13. I like your soapbox!

    Like

    Reply
  14. As one who survived and was healed from sexual abuse, I am glad to know there are groups where people are safe – and yours seems wonderful. I could never join a biker group unless they built a bike with airbags all around – I’m not that coordinated, but I do admire bikers. In our area there are many who are Christian bikers – they speak at our church and one lady I know – her group sets up a service for other bikers to help with repairs and things that happen along the road, as well as sharing the Word of God. My daughter saw their group on the road and thought they were way cool. Thanks for your soapbox. I greatly appreciate what you are sharing -and I enjoyed the post after this, glad that for you the music didn’t die LOL. Have a blessed day.

    Like

    Reply
    • Hi, Heather. Believe or not, you don’t even really have to ride your own to hang with the bikers. There is a place for everyone who wants to be around. :) The motorcycle ministries in Tulsa are huge, and we have some pretty close ties to a few of them. People are just people, no matter what scary stuff you tend to hear! Oh, and I do know how to ride my own bike, but I was as clumsy on a bike as I am on my feet, so for the safety of the world and everyone in it, I quit riding my own and let Chef chauffeur me around..:)

      Like

      Reply
  15. Love your refreshing perspective. Bike on!!

    Like

    Reply
  16. I’m really impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself? Either way keep up the nice quality writing, it’s rare to see a great blog like this one nowadays..

    Like

    Reply
  17. The next time I learn a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as a lot as this one. I mean, I do know it was my option to read, but I actually thought youd have something fascinating to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about one thing that you could fix for those who werent too busy on the lookout for attention.

    Like

    Reply
    • Seriously? I saw your site too, with the ONE post. You are upset about mine? I’m thinking something got lost in the translation…

      Like

      Reply
    • Why are YOU whining about this website????

      Like

      Reply
      • I don’t really know what to think of this…

        Like

        Reply
        • Bird, I wasn’t replying to you, I was replying to Ed. The weakness of WP is that the threads don’t thread properly.

          Like

          Reply
          • Oh, I knew that. I just can’t tell if this is spam, but his site has one post and it seems personal but frankly I think this is an odd kind of spam…Trying to lose business?? I don’t know. Do you think it is spam?

            Like

            Reply
            • Yeah, I was kind of wondering if it was a spam. Do you have Akismet installed? It really cuts down on the junk posts.

              Like

              Reply
              • Yes … I get some spam but really never very much, and they are never insulting.. lol…This was just too weird!!

                Like

                Reply
                • Sounds like your are getting a lot of spam comments that don’t have much content. What I do is check the IP and web address of the people posting in the Comments area before approving if I suspect anything at all.

                  Like

                  Reply
                  • Thanks. I think you are right. I will do that. But tell me, why have spam that makes you angry?

                    Like

                    Reply
                    • so you will click on his links to see who he is and what he’s about… then you are on the company site or worse, a virus bot.

                      Like

  18. Only a smiling visitant here to share the love (:, btw outstanding style .

    Like

    Reply
  19. I like this website very much so much great information.

    Like

    Reply
  20. Very interesting subject , thanks for putting up. “I am convinced that life in a physical body is meant to be an ecstatic experience.” by Shakti Gawain.

    Like

    Reply
  21. I enjoy the efforts you have put in this, thank you for all the great content.

    Like

    Reply
  22. andre loots(bandit)

     /  June 18, 2012

    I need a band of outlaws like this in my life,as i get older i find it hard to be the loner i always preferred to be,life is just too complicated now and no one cares anymore.It seems that if you care for some people they see it as weakness and it costs you in the end.I will now go looking for a band of outlaws like yours,thank you.I will look in regularlynow.Oh,I am in south africa.

    Like

    Reply
    • I know exactly what you mean. I was very much a loner myself, so this was a new experience for me. I hope you find the outlaws you need in your life!

      Like

      Reply
  23. Thanks on your marvelous posting! I really enjoyed reading it,
    you might be a great author.I will be sure to bookmark your blog and will eventually
    come back someday. I want to encourage you to definitely continue your great writing, have a nice evening!

    Like

    Reply
  24. Just shows that a committed Christian is able to share beliefs with those who may not consider themselves to fall within that category. We can all almost always find common ground!

    Like

    Reply
  25. jlo

     /  January 10, 2014

    Bird,
    Well said! :) SYLO
    j

    Like

    Reply
  26. Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
    THIS GAL KNOWS WHAT SHE IS TALKING ABOUT CONCERNING NOT JUDGING TOO SOON…AND WHERE TO FIND TRULY HONORABLE PEOPLE!

    Like

    Reply

Don't be shy! Leave a Reply!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 2,958 other followers

%d bloggers like this: