All We Need Is Love….And Maybe Prozac

Ever since Chef launched into Full Throttle Insanity Mode in this midlife crisis thing, I’ve noticed that I don’t spend much time on Facebook anymore. I have 212 “friends”, and it seems that they are all having a better time in life right now than I am.

While I’ll spill my shameless secrets here on my website, I have very rarely written much about my life on this social network. It just always seemed like more information than people would want or need to have.

Now, no one can ever accuse me of being a romantic. I don’t know why, but even in the best moments of my relationship, I still have never been sappy about love. I never thought “All we need is love…” Oh, I don’t think so! Love don’t pay the bills, and it don’t put food in a hungry tummy. Believe it or not, in my marriage, Chef is the actual romantic. I’ve always been the practical voice in this partnership. (He’s going to love that I shared that with you all..)   :-)

Today, because I’m feeling kind of annoyed and agitated, with a tad bit of nostalgia for the good old days of sanity thrown in, and very head-achy, I headed over to Facebook to see what my peoples have been up to lately.

And then, like a bolt of lightning hitting me square in my achy brain, I remembered why I haven’t been hanging out on Facebook lately:

Wanna bet? How old is your husband?

I was right to stay away from Facebook in my present state of mind.

Attacking young newlyweds all flushed with new love  with gloomy realities of just what a pain in the butt love can turn out to be is not something people thank you for..It is too much honesty.

Starting tomorrow, no Facebook without Prozac.

:-)

– Bird

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36 Comments

  1. Ah shame…the rude awakening still has to happen! Yip, rose tinted sunglasses and all that. Wait until hubby works in a different country for 3 months at a time, with 2 weeks at home… I also just use FB these days to play Lexulous… :)

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  2. I’m with you all the way on this one…although my drug of choice is Paxil…lol! Once I saw this photo that said something to the effect of, “May your life be as wonderful as you appear to make it look on Facebook!” Amen.

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  3. lol, great post!

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  4. Hi Bird, does your husband agree that he’s having a midlife crisis?

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    • Yes. He rarely will talk about it, but when we occasionally do, we both call a certain set of unusual behaviors that have only recently showed up his “crisis” crap.

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      • That’s a good sign, at least he’s not in denial. It might be helpful for him to consider the one thing he thought he would have done in his life by now. We all see the life clock ticking by and ask ourselves ‘Did I achieve what I wanted?’ When the hectic life takes over we look back in our 40s/50s and often decide that No, we haven’t. Panic sets in, ‘Do I have enough time left, enough energy, resources, etc.’ Thankfully the answer is Yes. Until we take our dying breath we have all we need to achieve what we want. I’d love to help him if he’s up for it. There’s nothing to lose right?

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        • Oh, I’d love for him to let someone talk to him man-to-man about all of this. The trick is getting him to actually believe that he needs any help. Chef isn’t one to ask for any kind of help, and especially not mental health kind of help.
          That being said, he was really, really moved by a man’s comment on one of my other posts, and that gives me a little hope that he is progressing, albeit really, really slowly. :-) I’ll show him your comment and see what he says. Thanks so much, Stu!

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  5. Great post Bird! As you know I only use Facebook for my daily thought and a prayer.
    However, being one who is very grounded, I never experienced a mid life crisis. Either that or I did and never knew because I was too dense. I guess I am to practical and take things to seriously to have time for one lol. At any rate know you are loved!

    Walk daily with God at your side!

    Ed

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    • I’ve been told that women have them too, and I would probably experience my own at one point or another. Next week I turn 44 years old, and I am inclined to think that my struggle with all of this mortality stuff in my own life happened a few years ago when my last child left home. Only I called it Empty-Nest Syndrome.
      I really can’t even imagine going through my own version of Chef’s Futile War against Time… :-) I don’t like to lose, and that is a battle no one can win.

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      • Well, being a little older than the young age of 44, I can tell you life continues on well past that age. My grandfather once told me, when I turned the old age of 12, that you are only as old as you act and as young as you feel. I am 68 and am told I look like early 50′s. Sometimes I feel like 80, but most times I feel a lot younger – maybe it is my second child hood. I will be 69 in December, maybe I will act like I’m 44, but then Ann might get jealous on me.
        I do hope this makes you smile – love you, Ed

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        • It really, really did make me smile! The actual number of a person’s age has never really meant anything significant to me. Hence, I married a man 12 years older than me.
          I wouldn’t have guessed accurately at your age. You had told me on a different occasion how old you were, but when I saw your pictures you posted, I thought you looked a lot younger, too.
          I do think how you feel makes all the difference. I have to say that I feel kind of the same as I did when I was in my thirties. I never freaked on any of the common birth-date ages like 21, 30, or 40 like so many other people seem to do.
          In the end, I’m blessed with my mother’s genetically-blessed gift of delayed aging, but I am really seeing the changes more lately. But, Chef will always be 12 years my senior, and he’ll always look a tiny bit older than me, which is good enough for this girl. :-) The way I figure, I think my recent aging is a direct result of him making my head explode at least once or twice a week!
          Thanks for stopping by and chatting with me, Ed. I always look forward to hearing from you!

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  6. Facebook friends are a mirage of sorts, they are not real, nor do they call or offer to take you to lunch. Facebook is a total waste of time, but a lot of folks do it daily.

    I would rather have the “real deal” not a whole lot of friends, but friends I can count on during the hard times or those times when I need a buddy.

    DS

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    • I agree. I used to filter out people I didn’t really, really know, but after awhile, I just gave up on that plan. My memory of people’s names and faces sucked too much, and I kept accidentally deleted people that I really did know. Ooops!
      I’m unimpressed with FB. I keep the thing for two reasons. I talk to Caitlyn, my youngest daughter who is stationed in Japan on there, and so I’ll be able to keep up with family stuff. We are the least family-like family ever, and I’ve now found out about TWO deaths in the family in the last two years through Facebook. Just how sad is that??
      I have very few people I consider real friends. I have lots and lots of FB-kinds of friends, but while I’m pretty open on my website, I’m not so much so with people anywhere else. But, that’s okay for me. I don’t think you need a ton of real friends…just a few. I already know several bloggers way better after these short few months writing, than I do most of the people, including my relatives, on my Facebook account!! Go figure..

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      • Curse of the Internet “but while I’m pretty open on my website, I’m not so much so with people anywhere else. But, that’s okay for me. I don’t think you need a ton of real friends…just a few.”

        No personal inter-action with other people, so therefore, it is okay to say or be what you want to be, who is going to judge, who is going to be critical, and if they do … Delete.

        Life in the open is much more complicated and (in my opinion) more rewarding “face to face.” Life is also what happens to most of us when we are not paying attention.

        Please buy my book …..

        Don

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        • Life in the open is life. The rest is not. ;-)

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        • I am inclined to agree with you about face to face being more complicated as well as rewarding. I just have a really hyper mind, and being surrounded by people really stresses me out. I’m getting better, but it is lot of work.

          Ok. I’ll buy your book if you tell me the name of it, and where I buy it from, and it can’t cost a lot of money, because I’m a financially-deprived woman who can’t seem to find a job these days…. I couldn’t find you plugging it on your site. You wrote a book, Don?? How cool!! I can’t say I’m surprised though. I love reading your posts. :-)

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    • I agree….it led to my getting off of facebook!

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      • It seriously irritates me when I’m in a moody moment. I know better than to log on to that site, but sometimes, I just can’t help myself..Like last night!

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  7. The honeymoon phase. And as the word phase suggests, it doesn’t last! Great post!

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    • lol…You can tell the wives who’ve been married awhile from the comments…We’re a weary lot these days!

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  8. Ooh. I’m with you on facebook — I do send my posts there, whenever things are working, which is seldom, but only once have I elicited an actual reply, when I posted on brushing your teeth with chocolate. All, all, all the rest, all the meaningful posts, just sit there. That’s the kind of crowd it is. Then I saw the movie and blech! The next time I had a breakdown in fb-land, I just let it stay broken. Fine.
    So sorry, though, for your anxious times. Praying things fix fast.

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  9. I never had a girlfriend and felt bad for it,. Now ur post is telling me it was for the good! :) funny ways of life..

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  10. Funny…yes the fairy tales that all ended with…”And they lived happily ever after’ ….wasn’t really telling like it is….A lot of hard work contained in that word ‘love’….Diane

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  11. trish

     /  June 7, 2012

    Ok Birdie….All I can say is I’m Here for you…BABY….I always have an ear to listen to you and a shoulder for you to cry on..or arms to hug you…or just to be there in the moment…love ya trish

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  12. Wouldn’t you know that would be the first thing you saw on facebook? I finally started on facebook just this year, but can’t keep it up. That and blogging? When will we sleep? haha! Take care Bird, and God bless you as you stay away from facebook and sappy stuff.

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  13. I have MUCH experience in marriage (I beat the woman at the well during my desert wandering years) and I’ve learned a lot about what doesn’t work and what does in a marriage. I have a suggestion for you Bird and I pray it will help you.
    Have ever watched the movies ‘Fireproof’ with Kurt Cameron? Watching this move together as a couple has helped so many people.
    I can only say that every marriage has it’s ups and downs… I say give your husband Chef over to God. And your irritating emotions over to God as well.
    Remember we are told in various ways that we can do nothing on our own, but can do ALL things through Christ. If that sounds too simplistic it’s because it IS!
    Regarding Facebook—I got rid of my account 3 years ago. I guess for some it works, but for me it only hindered my use of the precious gift of time.
    I am praying for both you and Chef as a couple… and “love does conquer all”.
    Blessings sweetie
    ~streim~

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