I’ve always been a big believer in the saying that laughter is the best medicine. I have no idea what physically goes on in our
brains when we laugh, but I’ve had enough of it in my life to know that I need it as much as I need the air to breathe. So, when problems kick me in the stomach so hard I can barely stand the pain, it is hard to believe I’ll ever laugh again, much less just feel happy about life in general. I’m guessing that is probably a common reaction to painful stuff, but in my case, not a probable outcome. It would seem I’m more of an optimist than I ever thought I was inclined to be.
I figured that I’d be this little wad of sadness for a while. It wasn’t something I wanted, but I am not a very good pretender and I’m rather transparent no matter how hard I try not to be, especially in person. Even worse than that, I seemed only able to talk about this mess lately and nothing else, even though I desperately wanted myself to not be “that person”. But, like a poison, it was being vomited up and out, like a verbal diarrhea, much to my eternal dismay. They don’t make Immodium for verbal diarrhea. :-( Talk about a lesson in humility! So, I was resigned to the fact…I was probably going to be a bummer to be around for a while, and hopefully, not too many people would need to be exposed to me until the crap in my soul was finally purged.
It took 1 1/2 days of working for me to start feeling more like my old self, and less like this little skinny woman radiating grief to anyone with 10 feet of her. In fact, today, I felt a tiny bit guilty because I’m obviously feeling better than the Other Half of this problem. I like the fact that I seem to be healing up quick enough to not run off all my friends…at least not permanently, I hope.
I thought I would give a little update to the many of you that have been travelling with me through this whole painful process. I appreciate all the encouragement and empathy that has been shown to me, as well as the many stories that people have shared with me about their own journeys through this kind of heartbreak. Sometimes, it is just good to know that someone else understands exactly how you feel.
Just so you all know, I’m doing pretty good right now, probably thanks to all the prayers that flooded heaven for me and Chef. Working now, I don’t have time to write like I was before, but don’t take my slowing down as a sign of anything bad. I’ve laughed a few times today. For instance, look at the tags on this post…I went ahead and used all of the tags that WordPress suggested. Why “Anno Domini”, “public nuisance“, or my favorite, “Mumbai“??? From now on, I’m going to “Apply All” every tag it suggests on every post I write because that makes me laugh….Just so you ever wonder how I come up with such obviously not-related-to-this-post-in-any-way tags, you’ll know…