Seeing the Surface

 

Today, I feel like a miner stuck underground after an explosion that cuts him off from the surface of the earth. I would imagine there is a terror that people might not know that you are still alive deep down under the earth, and the hope must feel horribly painful as you strain to hear signs of help. I would imagine that every sound is judged throughBig Wall Geology

 

that filter of hope, and dashed when no other sounds join the chorus to indicate someone was looking for you. I think time must pass by slowly, enjoying every cruel minute, prolonging the terror. You are not dead yet, but neither are you alive either. And like the voice of angels, you finally hear the sounds of help far away, and your hope rises again and falls again, for yes,  they are looking for you, but they had not found you yet. At last, you can see your help breaking through the crust of the earth, and though you are not out of the hole that has become your prison yet, you see that the odds are in your favor that you soon will be. That is how I feel today.

 

The ghosts of all I’ve been through are still here, lined up all around me. There is still pain, sorrow, grief…but there is a peace also with the acceptance that I’m getting ready to travel to the surface. There is a peace in wiping off the dust of this journey from my face and from my feet. There is rest and lodging and healing soon; I only need to be patient a little longer.

 

– Catherine

 

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21 Comments

  1. when are u moving

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  2. stay you cathy

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  3. Almost there!!! Diane

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  4. lbkennett

     /  September 9, 2012

    “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?…No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:35-39 NIV

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  5. I’m so sorry for your pain and suffering. I pray GOD brings you peace on your new journey in this thing called life. Seems the most difficult of times push us into the next level a better place perhaps a place we would not choose without the pain and suffering. I am praying for you!
    Melody

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  6. Hi Catherine, I understand exactly what you mean, I have been right where you are! I wrote about my time in this situation last week, only I used the analogy of being lost in a stormy sea. It helps to stay ‘emotionally neutral’ throughout the trial. I have a feeling you may find something useful in my post http://innerangelsandenemies.wordpress.com/2012/09/04/walking-the-neutral-line-between-fear-and-promise/
    I would be blessed if you would mind having a little look and letting me know if it helped in anyway. Blessings to you!

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    • It was very helpful! Thank you! And very well written. Thank you for sharing it with me!

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      • I am so glad you found time to read it. I know many bloggers put up their links to generate more ‘readers’ yet this was not my aim here. I simply wanted you to know that I have been there and am grateful for the level of faith that was built in me from it and how worthwhile it was when I came out the other side. Thank you for reading. God Bless

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        • I know that when I look back over this from a different viewpoint, there will be much to praise the Lord over. I’m just wounded right now, but I promise, my faith in the Lord has never wavered even once.

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          • I know Lovely, My Dad used to explain it like God had me by the ankle and I was dangling over a cliff of doubt. You can’t help but flap about in panic as you stare head first into the doom below, but He never lets you go and you never forget that He has got you…Even if it is only by the ankle. And you can praise loud when He stands you back up on solid ground once again!

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  7. Whew. Right there with you Catherine, dear. Stop in if you like on your trek North. Much love,
    Victoria

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  8. Praying for your full rescue. Your Deliverer is coming . .your Deliverer is standing by. love and hugs!

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  9. Beautifully described! I felt like I was with you there in that dark place. I hope the time the ghosts of your past line up near you gets shorter and shorter. Hugs to you…..

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  10. A very apt metaphor. Cruel in a certain way, but true. I’m glad you see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m sure that you’ll soon start feeling snatches of peace and joy in between the sadness. :)

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  11. I too had a terrible childhood and an extremely difficult marriage with special needs children and adopted children who have been abused in every way. Some days I feel like my problems have no end BUT I HANG ON TO THE FACT THAT GOD IS IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE. I still believe He works everything out for His glory. He is molding me with every situation to become more like Him so that I can be used to tell others about Him. This life is so short we will be gone in a blink. I hope He is using me but most days I feel like I am failing.
    Blessings and hang in there,
    Diane Roark http://www.recipesforourdailybread.com

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