One of my readers, whose site I really enjoy, wrote a somewhat chastising message about my blog being a downer. And I took the day to really think about what he had said, and it led me to the question — Why do I write this blog?
The answer isn’t completely cut and dry. For instance, when I began writing this blog, it was mainly for my kid’s entertainment and because my husband’s problem left me alone a lot, and I just wanted something to do. Then, when people started showing up here, and then sticking around, I was writing about different, funny things that had happened in my life. I myself love to laugh, and when things in my life are stable and good, I laugh all the time. But, as things in my life got harder and harder, I used this blog to vent, rage, and grieve. Have you ever tried to write something entertaining and funny when you don’t feel it? It doesn’t work, and always falls flat. It seemed though, that the more truth I wrote, even if it was shadowed by the pain and anger of what was going on in my life, the more people seemed to be able to relate, and wanted to share their stories as well. Everyone has a story, and most of us live through something that is hard. Most of us don’t belong to the Noodle Salad Club.
I agree with the comment that my blog has become somewhat hard to read, even for myself, and I am going to try to get back to writing about happier things. Believe it or not, I’m thinking that isn’t going to be all that hard any more. I’ve had a couple of really good days, and though I am still living in a precarious, unstable place in my life, I’m starting to find things to laugh about again. I no longer fear answering my phone, or shiver at every knock on the hotel door. I don’t have any idea what two weeks from now is going to look like, but I have a peace about it anyways. God hasn’t let me down at any point during this whole mess, and I’m kind of excited to see what He’s going to do for my family and me next.
My brother Ernie brought my two cats, Milo and Sebastian, back to me, and I live in a hotel room with two adult kids, two dogs, two cats, and me. I feel like the captain of a warped Noah’s ark. Sebastian, the Siamese cat, is still trying to figure out when the rich family is coming to get him…He’s so stuck up! We spend a lot of time in here, and we’ve actually developed a routine that I’m starting to feel comfortable in.
So, I do apologize for the sad turn that this site has taken, but I won’t apologize for writing the truth about what is going on in my life, because in the end, this blog has been a catalyst into understanding myself, my feelings about all of this, and a record of each lesson I’m learning through all of this. If it is entertaining or helpful to others, that is a bonus to me, but if it is too much for people to read, I completely understand them walking away. I certainly wish I could have walked away from this whole rotten year…. :-)
Hopefully, tomorrow I can write about some of the dorky things that we do around here to keep ourselves busy, and I hope that you all won’t give up on me just yet. I appreciate all of the people who take the time to return, and frankly, you made my little trip through hell bearable. I do love you all very much!