Junk in My Trunk

I feel like I should write something today, but trust me when I say, the stuff I want to write about isn’t good, and the stuff I can write about is boring. Oh the dilemma!

So, let me just stick to stuff that is mildly interesting if you have any interest in me at all.

I finally went on a date, and that one date got out of hand. I don’t know what it is about me, but men seem to always get the wrong signals from me. I’m NEVER playing games, and if you’re finding me hard to catch, it’s because I am HARD TO CATCH. It takes time for me to decide if I want to invest so much of myself in a relationship, and if you don’t give me time to decide if I want to, the answer will always be no. Without Exception.

I’ve started a new job, as it would seem I’m prone to do, lately. I like it. It feeds a sense in me of helping other people, and I like the company I’m working for. However, I’m having issues with the company I left. They’re just bad people. I figured that out about a week into my employment with them, and each and every time I have dealings with them, or my friends have dealings with them, they prove without a doubt, the sun shines equally upon the good as well as the bad. Don’t get me wrong. I believe God loves justice, and they will eventually have a reckoning, but they do tend to irritate me. I will always wonder how some people can screw so many poor people over and still be able to look themselves in the face in the mirror.

My new job is rather far away, and I’ve been dealing with something new…traffic. I adore Austin! I really do! But, whoa, the traffic is crazy. It takes me 45 minutes daily to commute a mere 6 mile stretch on my way home. One deals with “break ins” by commuters who think their time is more important than the rest of ours, and break into the lines of traffic downtown, which of course, causes more traffic delays. I have yelled obscenities more than once at the careless vehicles that slam right between you and the car in front of you. It is a lesson in patience. I can promise you that.

All in all, life has taken on a routine, and even with the obvious political tensions and the sense that something spiritual is happening all around me, I feel peaceful. I’m on the right side of things, and I can rest in that knowledge. I hope all of your lives are feeling equally peaceful. 🙂

 

I guess all things considered, I have nothing to complain about. I’m happy. And that’s what we’re all looking for, right?

~Bird

 

Advertisements

Trauma Blogging

ehasI’ve realized lately I’m kind of a Trauma Blogger. When things in my life are smooth, I get writer’s block, but when I’m upset, I find comfort in putting my thoughts down in writing. Hence, I call it trauma blogging.

It says something about how well life has been smoothing out for me these last few years when you notice I went from writing hundreds of posts a year to just a few handfuls. I’ve been thinking lately, maybe it is just time to close down this blog. I mean, after all, I’m happy, and wisdom doesn’t tend to ride on the wings of contentment. Wisdom always rides piggyback with tears, sorrow, and grief. And what’s the point of writing if you aren’t sharing wisdom you’ve garnered along this journey we call life?

On top of that reason, I’ve noticed lately I haven’t wanted to share as bird 1much publicly about my thoughts. As I’ve delved a little deeper in relationships with new friends, I find myself less willing to expose their troubles. I mean, I have been navigating new waters about stuff that is going on in other people’s lives, and I am truly interested in why we feel the way we feel about certain things, but their issues are private, and I can’t expose them. It’s a new thing for me. It was one thing to blog about the end of my marriage, or the motorcycle club, or parenting. I was a primary player in those stories. But I’m sidelined right now, merely a spectator, and their stories aren’t mine to tell.

sad2016 sucked for most of us, but for me less, I think. When I stroll through the posts I wrote in 2012, 2013, and 2014, it is easy to recall the pain, tears, and grief I was experiencing, and that is all it takes for me to appreciate how rather uneventful 2016 was in comparison. My trend has been going upward.

I’m not going to close down this blog, but instead, I am going to try to learn to write well without trauma. I do love to write, but I’m uninterested in living in chaos and destruction in order to do so. I imagine it will take me some time to get this down, but For DonaldI’m willing to give it a shot. In the meantime, I want to thank all of my blogging friends for staying with me on this adventure all these years. Hopefully, I can find my old sense of humor and interest in the world around me I once had when I first started this thing.

~ Bird

13600317_1613889835307130_2845812270626374109_n