The Little Blue Book

funny-little-chicken-clipartThis is stuff we found funny enough to write down:(Not for the easily offended…)

Bird: “I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won?”

Bird: “God created all life; the rest came from China.”

Rebekkah – “I’m watching The Voice, and there are no commercials!! It’s a Hulu Miracle!”

” I’ll grab his ankles and make a wish..” ~ Grandpa Mallicoat

” I think the reason I like Aunt Debbie’s stuffing and not yours, Mom, is because this stuffing hasn’t touched a turkey’s ass. ” Rebekkah to Bird

Bird to Rebekkah: “I just woke up sick of all of it. Today, I’m the suicide bomber of minor disputes. People better tread softly…no one knows what I have strapped on beneath this smile!!”

“You have not known hunger until you’ve given birth. Someone could bring a cow in, and slaughter it in front of you, and you would say, ‘Yes!'” — Emily regarding the birth of our co-worker’s first child.

“I want to squish you guys into one big Martin. A Martin-Mash.” — Emily DB

Bird to Rebekkah: “If you come back with only one smashed penny you paid too much for, I’ll smash YOU. At least then we’ll have  a set of something.”

Caitlyn (Bug) sent this to me (her mother). It is vintage Bug, and I laughed and laughed when I saw it:

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“So, if I say I want to throw you in a meat grinder and eat you for dinner — it means I love you.” Bug to Levi

“When keeping it real goes wrong….” JR at Electric

“All he needed was some sunblock and a hip bag to be the whitest man I’ve ever seen. Honestly, man, have you no shame??” — Dj

“I wanted to do this gesture – (mimes hand job), but we got in trouble for being “lewd” in the MAINTENANCE SQUADRON…” Bug

” If this (the rail) hadn’t been here, I would have been splat! Onemonepiad all over the sidewalk.” — Emily

After falling into a pot hole while drunk — “It’s okay. I’m not driving!” — Emily

On the return to the conversation — “Sorry. Some cheeky mother-fucker keeps putting their trash outside my door, and I thought that was what was happening.” — Bug

Conversation between Cait (Bug) and some Dude:

Dude: You’re freakin’ sexy.

Bug: I think my brain just quit working.

Dude: Why?

Bug: Because that was both off topic and wildly inappropriate.

Emily and Rebekkah in the car:

Me: Oh, I can do shadow puppets!

Emily: Stop it….that’s distracting. I can’t see the weed.

“This is just how I am. I’ve been trained to lie by my parents because they lie to me.” — Lee Maher

“It’ll be just like Thelma and Louise, without the suicidal ending.” — Emily

“But to live outside the law, you must be honest.” — sticker at Arnie‘s Bar

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